


Go Back

by gonelike_achoo



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Cohabitation, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fake Character Death, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mafia Boss, Romance centered, former mafia, mafia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:49:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28130433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gonelike_achoo/pseuds/gonelike_achoo
Summary: Left alone to fend for himself, he worked several jobs, he waits tables at a café, mans a counter in a convenience store, tutors people and sometimes runs errands for people.This wasn't exactly the life Seungmin grew up living in, in fact, as a college student, he was extremely grateful that he can live this life. Away from his manipulative father, an unknown mother, and a huge mafia that did nothing but kiss his ass.
Relationships: Kim Seungmin/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	1. The Boy Behind the Counter

**Author's Note:**

> !! Mentions of mafia, which means this fic is quite violent, proceed with caution !!

**Chapter 1: The Boy Behind the Counter**

To him, it was just as it was every night. A few online notes to look through, the echo of the huge fridges that was keeping the drinks cold, mixed with the sound of the drink machine and the either really cold temperature of the store or really hot. Standing behind the counter of a convenience store that people could see miles away was to him, the best place to catch up with school work. Especially if he worked night shifts and had classes in the morning.

Convenience store customers at 2am only fell into a few categories, if he were to name a few; the drunkard, that one office guy who got caught into his boss's night out, midnight cravers, and his favourite the odd people who decide to buy magazines at 2am in the morning. The last thing he expected was when the door to the store opened, he saw a girl covered in blood limping on one of her legs and could barely reach into her pockets to pay. He didn't plan to speak up, but the concern was growing on him.

"Are you okay?" He asked gently as he placed the items she got into the paper bag.

The girl rolls her eyes and in one deep and low breath she tells him, "its none of your business." Then she grabs the bag from his hand and walks towards the seats outside the convenience store.

Seungmin stands there watching her through the glass of the store. The streets were bright and quiet during this time, and it was a great time to help someone who needed help. He stands there observing her bad, sad, frustrating and weird way of patching up her wounds. 

"Chan," Seungmin enters the staff room to see the elder boy busy on his laptop. He called him one more time before he took notice of Seungmin standing by the door.

"Yeah?"

"Someone just entered injured and I can't stand here and do nothing about it. Can you stay by the counter for a while?" Seungmin didn't even let Chan respond as he turned around and walked out the store. 

Seungmin looms over her for a few seconds before making it obvious that he was standing behind her. "What's your problem?" The girl doesn't even look up as she poorly puts betadine over wounds. The yellowish colour of the medication stained her skin and Seungmin just felt even more annoyed as she wasn't exactly cleaning any wound.

"You aren't cleaning your wounds properly," he sighs as he grabs the chair and sits close to her, but all he got for a response was icy glare of this woman.

"I already said it, didn't I? It's none of your business." Her head snaps back towards her wounds as she continues to treat them poorly.

Seungmin takes a deep breath in and grabs the cotton ball off her hand as he took the initiative to clean both her wounds and scratches. He pulls her wrist down against the table with a force she didn't expect to come out from someone who looked like all he did was study.

"What do you think you're doing!" If Seungmin hadn't held unto her wrist she would've yanked it away.

"Helping you," he huffs as he quickly finishes cleaning her arms and covers her wounds up.

"I didn't ask for any," she growls at him as he finally let's go of one wrist and grabs the other with the exact same force he put on the earlier one. Again he didn't appear to be someone who should have that strength. He looked like all he did his whole like was study, play games, probably some sports for extracurricular, or music. Was she quick to judge?

"Come closer," Seungmin let's go of her wrist and scoots his chair closer to her. He was holding the cotton ball close to her face as if waiting for her to move her head closer.

"I told you just—"

"Shut up already," Seungmin, tired with her whining finally snaps. Instead of waiting for her to move in closer he moved in closer, at this point he abandoned the chair and stood up and began leaning closer instead to clean the wounds on her face.

Then it was quiet for the time he was busy cleaning her face. They were lucky that the convenience store lights were bright and that he could properly see the wounds on her face. Though the eerie silence of the street did make the two of them feel a bit uneasy.

"Done," Seungmin stands up straight to give one last look at her wounds. The girl, this time, was too exhausted to even talk. She was lucky, honestly, that someone showed up to wipe her wounds for her. If she was being honest she was exhausted because the reason behind these scars are her using up all her energy to make sure she was safe. Her wounds were a mark of honour to the mafia.

"I have work to do, so you could stay here and call someone to pick you, but stay in my sight." Seungmin tells her. "Just in case," he walks ahead making sure she didn't hear the last bit of what he said.

Seungmin clutches his fist, he knew those wounds all too well. The slices of knives, the marks of punches, extremely strong punches and the use of some long items such as steel pipes or baseball bat, all of those wounds on that girl were easy to read. What was a girl beaten up like that doing in this part of the city. 

"Are you alright?" Chan asked the boy who was standing frozen by the door.

"Y-Yeah," he lies as he quickly turns around to give the girl one more look. Seungmin watches as she takes a deep breath and leans her head back a bit. She stays there and observes the sky. It really did seem like a fight to him, there was no mistaking it. Her exhaustion, the wounds and bruises all over arms and face and probably her body as well. 

"Either way, you better sit back on your shift before I deduct this from your salary." Chan stands up from the chair behind the counter and returns back to the staff room where he appears to be checking on the logistics of the convenience store he not only managed, but owned the retail of. 

Seungmin could only roll his eyes and drag his feet towards the counter, as for a few seconds he turns his head away from the exhausted girl. He felt a sudden shiver up his spine as he heard a car stop right in front of the store. Immediately he turns around. For a few seconds, he stood there frozen, his mind completely blank as one familiar face walked out of the car. If that man didn’t take a step towards the store he would’ve remained frozen, but the beating of his heart and the chaos in his mind told him to hide from him. 

Hidden behind a few shelves of items, he watched their exchange. The girl was talking to that man often called Han as if they were close, as if she was part of them. Seungmin could hear himself gulp down the saliva that was growing in his mouth. 

Oh, the heavens were playing a game on him, weren’t they?

The girl eventually stands up from the seat and limps her way towards the car, but she didn’t leave without turning around to check on the boy that helped her. She was only disappointed to see that there was no one behind the counter. She sighs and climbs in the car, but they didn’t leave. Han took a step towards the convenience store and scanned through the glass, it was at this time, Seungmin hid his whole body from the view of the street. 

Showing himself to that boy named Han would only cause him trouble. He somehow got away from the life of trouble. 

  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. The 'Community'

**Chapter 2: The ‘Community’**

Riding the bus may seem mundane, almost nothing but an everyday task to some, but to him it was a blessing. His formative years were spent away from crowds like this, especially in the morning, where he was basically laying his life out on a clean plate for someone to grab onto and gobble up. Though, it was mostly because several people would prefer to keep him on their watchful eyes, but that's besides the point. Seungmin adores riding the bus, to him it was the most relaxing part of his day. He was out of the convenience store at 4am, heads home to wash up before heading to his classes.

It is, as he admits, quite a rigorous schedule, but it's what he needed to get by. His school fees weren't going to pay for themselves. 

Standing by in the middle of the bus as it moves along the city with earphones in his ears, once again, the last thing he expected was for his short heaven to be interrupted. Especially, not by familiar faces.

The bus stops, just two stops away from his university when he sees two men standing by the door, with a girl that was once wounded in the convenience store he worked at a few days ago. 

Now, he was faced with a dilemma of getting off and waiting for the next bus or just avoiding them at all costs. Well, his time was running out and if he were on the field these few seconds was a thin line between life and death. He takes the chance and leaves the bus. The two men enter into the other entrance, while Seungmin made sure to exit by the end of the bus, where he wouldn't need to meet these people.

As he gets off, after squeezing himself through the morning rush, the doors closes and the girl he treated stepped out of the bus at the same time. Immediately the two men who entered turned around and began banging on the bus door, the girl was completely out of their grasps.

Seungmin stands there watching what had just happened. He watched as she chuckled at what she did as she mockingly bid the two farewell. "Those two are complete idiots—" The girl was about to clutch her stomach laughing when she turned around to meet the same eyes she saw a few nights ago. "It's you?" 

"Surprise," Seungmin raises an eyebrow at her.

"I am actually surprised," the girl suddenly takes a seat in the bus stop. She even oats down the empty space beside her. 

However, Seungmin only gives her a look and remains standing where he was. He stands over the place where the bus would usually stop and it would be easy for him to climb on. "The next bus is in 20 minutes. Take a seat would you?"

"I thought that it wasn't part of my business?" Seungmin raises his eyebrows at her. That was exactly what he wished for with this girl, that her life was not his business.

"I was a bit grumpy that night." She rolls her eyes, "I mean anyone in the same position would be."

Seungmin could only sigh, but instead of arguing with her even more, he decided to stand right beside her. The last thing he needed was building a relationship more than strangers, even if they become mere acquaintances his years of effort would all go to waste.

"By the way, even though I snapped at you that day, thanks for helping me out." She swings her legs as she looks opposite from his direction.

"No problem," he takes his phone out and begins scrolling through some notes from his lectures that he transferred to his phone, scanning through them as if he hasn't scanned through them enough. This was all for the effort of him not meeting her in the eyes nor having anymore contact with her.

Then it goes silent between the two of them. The cars passing by and people passing by didn't make it feel completely awkward, but still they were strangers the heavy atmosphere was normal. However, that's exactly what Seungmin wanted, the complete silence between the two of them.

"Normally," sadly she breaks it, "we would've introduced ourselves already."

"I don't think it's necessary—"

"My name's Haein, Lee Haein." She puts her hands out to shake. Seungmin only stares at her hand.

There was no need for them to exchange names, especially if what he was speculating about her was true. "I don't thi—"

"22 years old, orphaned and if it isn't quite obvious enough, I get into trouble quite often." She gives him a smile, a huge contrast to the wounds on her arms and the callus on the tips of her knuckles. In all honesty, it wasn't exactly that he gave in to her smile, it was more like he understood that this girl named Haein was the type to not give up until she gets what she wants. She was the complete opposite of him. 

"Seungmin," he takes her hand and shakes it firmly, exactly like those that business men exchanged.

Haein nods her head slowly as they both take their hands away from each other and look towards the direction where they were facing a while ago. “Seungmin,” his name trails off her voice. “From where I’m from Seungmin’s a famous name.”

“Not surprising,” he thinks to himself as he opens his phone pretending to go back to what he was reading, well now merely what he was pretending to read. If there was something his years of training had taught was extremely applicable to the world outside the group, it was the suppressing of emotions, hiding your desires, no one could read your desire for bloodlust, for winning, for losing and for love.

“Really now,” his pretentious tone was set on purpose to create an even more awkward atmosphere between them. 

That was his original plan, but it turned on him. “Yes,” the girl almost jumps in her seat, “he was a man that was both feared and adored, he was that kind of leader.”

Seungmin could only sigh. If he was honest, he was quite curious with how the mafia continued to view him after the ‘incident’. So, he finally takes a seat beside her and gives her a bored look, but enough permission to continue what she was saying.

“I wasn’t yet part of the community when he,” the girl stops not exactly sure whether to continue the story that she wanted to tell.

“When he died?” Seungmin blinks his eyes a few times pretending to have completely guessed the situation. The complete shock on Haein’s face made her unconsciously scoop away from the man in front of her. “It’s just a guess, usually people who are praised often died of heroic deeds.” He lies.

“Right,” the way she says this line was slow as if she was continuously doubting him. Haein bites down her lower lip as she continues to examine him, as that was exactly how it felt when her eyes travel up and down as if she was trying to decode him. Though, the luck wasn’t particularly on her side, his firewall was a bit too complicated for anyone to hack into. “All you would have to know it that Kim Seungmin was a hero and everyone in the ma--”, she coughs, “--community adores him.”

“That’s weird,” Seungmin turned towards her with his eyes wide as if they were filled with wonder and excitement, “my full name’s Kim Seungmin.” 

Haein for a moment blinks her eyes continuously at him. 

“Do you think my father was part of your community as well? Like that’s where my name came from, a hero?” Seungmin looks back at the bus stop and takes notice of the bus beginning to approach.

“I don’t think he did,” Haein chuckles a bit, “the hero was said to be my age.” She freezes completely still as she finally takes notice of the ID that was hanging loose from his pocket. He was born in the exact same year as she was. 

Seungmin stands up to greet the bus that was about to stop in front of him, while Haein remains there seated watching the boy from behind. This boy doesn’t appear to be like the stories she’s heard, the Kim Seungmin she’s heard about is this master of all, of everything that was needed to be in the mafia, the Kim Seungmin in front of her was nothing more than your typical university student. 

This was nothing more than a coincidence, since the dead could never be resurrected from their beds.


	3. The Living Dead Legend

**Chapter 3: The Living Dead Legend**

“I’m completely exhausted with you,” Han leans forward with his hands clutching each other and from the looks of it, it looked like he was about to injure himself from his own grip. The air of disappointment completely showed on his face and, well, his actions. HIs aura felt different, but this was always the case when Haein stood in front of him. “How many time do I have to tell you…” Han stands up from his chair and walks to the front of his desk, and leans against it with his body leaning forward.

“...everyone would die to have my position.” Haein responds with a roll of her eye even before Han could complete his sentence. 

“Is that funny?” Han leans back and glares at the girl too busy checking her nails though there was nothing new about it anyway. The atmosphere in the office was extremely heavy that the other people in the room couldn’t seem to move from the freezing temperature inside, that was for everyone except for the girl whose legs were resting rather comfortably on the coffee table in the office.

“Haein, I don’t think you understand how many people your age gets to sit in an executive position in the mafia, especially in a mafia as big as High Street.” Han takes a deep breath in and looks elsewhere, anywhere that wasn’t towards her. He swears that one more look at her, he would probably throw a fist towards her.

“But then there you are, it isn’t that special Han.” 

“I swear to…” he had his hands clenched tightly and was ready to be thrown at her face, but he holds back. The whitening on his knuckles matched the deep breath he took in and the way he slowly closed his eyes. “Haein, we’re one of the three--”   
  


“--youngest executives of the mafia.” Haein rolls his eyes. “I think you’ve mentioned it enough.” Haein decides to stand up, not having anymore of this circular conversation with Han. She turns towards the door and all the other people in their room could do was watch the increased tension between them. Everyone could feel Han’s boiling anger, except for the girl that had her back facing him. She walks towards the door completely ignoring the calls of the people in the room, except Han.

Realizing that she wasn't going to get any peace and quiet inside the headquarters, she decided to wander around. She wandered into the other side of the city, as she usually does hoping no one from the High Street catches her there, especially in an area that wasn't under their territory. Walking into a cafe that wasn't all that busy all she needed was a cup of coffee or she might actually want to beat someone up.

That was the plan, until she saw a familiar face sitting in the almost empty shop. Unlike a number of people from High Street he was probably the most lowkey. Was he even considered part of the mafia? No one knows exactly. He was like a bird that popped in every once in a while.

"You look like someone just killed you,” he slides into the seat in front of her. The bags under his eyes evident from probably staying up until the morning, or probably having no sleep at all. Holding a cup coffee in his hands that looked like it was straight out of hell for how dark it looked. 

“Now that you showed up, I might as well kill you then,” the sarcasm in her voice was very evident as she rolled her eyes and slouched back on the chair. 

“I have a few guesses on what might have happened.”

“Minho,” she stares at him dead in his eyes, “you know everything that happens.” He wasn’t called the master of information for nothing. If he was asked to search about the most detached person here on earth, he would still probably find information about them. 

Minho only laughs. “So, another fight with Han, huh?” He takes a sip out of his cup before smiling at her once again.

Haein only grunts. 

Minho sighs. “I’m sure you're aware of how much pressure Han is in. Not only does he have to watch over you, he has other works as well, not to mention the pressure he’s faced since he took over Seungmin’s position.” 

Haein’s feet began shaking under the table in such an uncomfortable way with her back still slouching on the chair. However, at this moment, it feels like she couldn’t exactly look at Minho. “That dead person again?” 

Minho blinks a couple of times before leaning in closer with his eyebrows knit together. “W-What did you just say?” The usual confident and unbothered Minho couldn’t believe what he just heard come out of the girl’s mouth.

“I said,” she sits up straight, “that dead person again?” Her eyes spoke anger, probably even rage at the sound of that dead person’s name. She’s heard it way too many times, from the moment she was taken in to the time she got elected at the 12th executive. One little mistake she makes his name come up, as if he was a god among men, as if he wasn’t a kid, just as she was, stripped off the freedom of being a child.

However, Minho’s rage was beginning to grow in him, a growing sense of narrowing vision and increased heartbeats made him feel like he was about to explode. “You better listen,” Minho grabs her wrist, which for the first time she realizes how scary he was, “that dead person--”

“Today’s the cafe’s anniversary we have free cake on the hou…” the boy looks between the two of them and immediately regrets. The aura he failed to notice should’ve been his indicator to runaway from the two of them, but he was a bit too exhausted from his shift in the convenience store last night. 

Both their heads turned slowly towards his direction, and it took both of them a few seconds to realize who was standing in front of them. The narrowing vision grows a bit at the sight, but either way Minho’s boiling anger only grew even bigger once he saw the guy.

“You work here too?” Haein’s voice wasn’t as kind as she sounded when they met at the bus stop, right now, it resembled the first night they met. There was a certain frustration in her voice, exactly as she sounded the night he healed her wounds.

“I work a couple of jobs,” he admits as he puts the two small slices of cake in front of them.

Minho takes a deep breath in a bit too loud, actually it was so loud that it had caught the attention of the whole cafe, which was barely filled with people. “If you decided to stay, you wouldn’t have to.” Seungmin’s eyes grew wide as it shifted between Minho and Haein. 

Seungmin, as he usually did, tried to calmly assess the situation. If it were just as it was when he left, Minho was still a guy trusted with intelligence, with information that held nothing but the ugly truth. If he were to speak of this once more and the girl, who he seems to have caught on as an executive, begins to slowly understand who he was, there was no mistaking that he would either end up in jail or, worse, return to High Street.

“What…”

“There’s no point in lying, MIn.” Minho glares at the younger boy. “This girl has cursed your name since the day she entered.”

“Your name?” Haein gives a long look at the boy wearing the cafe’s uniform. No matter how much he looks at her, she could never imagine this boy hurting a fly, his body looked light and his knuckles showed no stains of blood. He was an image far from the glorified dead legend Kim Seungmin.

Seungmin puts his head down as he lets the tray dangle on one of his hands. ‘Indeed,’ he thinks to himself, ‘there was no use to faking it.’ His chuckle made Minho snap out of his boiling anger, and even made Haein lean back. It was a simple short chuckle, it wasn’t even loud and it definitely didn’t catch the other people’s attention, but it sent shivers down both their spines. He raises his head and tilts it to the side, his eyes looking down on the both of them, as if they pressed on the wrong switch. 

“Let me live my death in peace.” Seungmin’s eyes meet Minho’s as he was the only one still inside the mafia to know of his presence. He was the only one that’s still in the mafia that knows every single part of his faked death.

“You are  _ the  _ Kim Seungmin.” Haein nearly pushes herself off the table as she moves her chair back, probably getting away from him. “Y-You’re supposed to be…”

“Dead,” he finished off her sentence even before the girl could take in everything that was happening. She continues to stare at him up and down still not believing what they were talking about was real. “I really am quite interested how much the rumor of my death has grown.” Seungmin rolls his eyes before he hears the counter bell rings.

Immediately he stands tall, his back straight and his smile back on his face, as if he had never flashed them looks that made both of them go silent. It was as if there was no chuckle that scared them down to their bones. It was that kind smile that he uses to greet customers with, but what scared them even more was the change in his aura. A while ago he was unapproachable, but right now…

He felt like an entirely different person. 


	4. Executives

**Chapter 4: Executives**

Minho and Haein sit outside the cafe in complete chilling silence of the twilight. There was no need for further conversation between the two, but the constant tapping on Haein’s feet and her eyes that would look over to Minho tells the elder otherwise. Extremely unlucky she was with Minho, he was a man trained to be absolutely patient, there was no way he would talk first unless she did.

“How long have you known?” Haein finally gives in and breaks the silence they shared.

The back door of the cafe opens and walks in Seungmin. He leans against the railing just outside the cafe and looks over the two of them. Both were avoiding eye contact with him. “He’s known since the day I died.” Seungmin doesn’t even bat an eye with the topic, as if faking your death was nothing but a common thing. Last time Haein checked there hasn’t been one person who faked their death and successfully made it. 

Haein keeps her eyes on Seungmin while Minho avoids every eye contact possible with Seungmin. Now that he’s cooled down he realized what he shouldn’t have done in the first place. 

“You’ve been alive this whole time, that means…” Haein begins muttering to herself, but their close proximity with each other it was almost impossible for each of them to hear each other. 

Both Minho and Seungmin’s head turn towards Haein, who was obviously lost in her own thoughts. Her eyes wondered at the darkening sky while it filled with various emotions, at first there was a glimpse of hope, then despair, then various other emotions that both Seungmin and Minho couldn’t accurately describe. 

“What’s the meaning behind me being alive, Haein?” Seungmin finally interrupts her one man show. 

Her head snapped towards Seungmin, at first her eyes grew wide with her mouth a bit apart but then it turned into a smile and if the two were to describe it, it was devilish. “That means, me being the 12th executive of High Street is invalid.” 

Seungmin only sighs as he puts his pointer and thumb on the bridge of his nose, while his other arm sits on his waist. “I don’t think you understand the lengths I went through, Haein.” Once again he calls out her name, but this time, just as it was in the cafe earlier, it sent shivers down her spine. For a few seconds, it was as if her heart lost a sense of a calm beat, she suddenly felt the need to get ready and run.

“Minho,” Seungmin in his frustration calls Minho’s name, “why did she get the position?” 

Minho sighs as well as his eyes didn’t hide the disappointment towards Haein with his arms over his chest the usual calm and collected intelligence captain felt intimidating. Indeed under both of their stares, well Minho’s stare and the Seungmin’s aura, she felt just as she did when she first entered the mafia.

“An executive is only taken out of their positions under the following circumstances: (a) that they’ve been confirmed dead, (b) under the powers of the Head of High Street, (c) under the voting of the 12 executive members resulting in eviction with a 50% plus 1 result, and (d) failure to protect High Street.” Haein began speaking as if she was a robot. She didn’t bat an eyelid at the topic, nor did she stutter, as if she didn’t even breath in between the words she was saying. 

“Under the rules of High Street, you were never confirmed to be dead, you were only assumed to be dead.” Haein watches as both Seungmin and Minho slowly look at her and move out of their positions earlier. 

“This is noting that executives move up according to these circumstances, which means if you return I won’t be considered an executive.” Haein looks dead into Seungmin’s eyes. “Which means from the moment I was elected into position, it was never official.” 

Seungmin and Minho stand there in complete silence. Then they exchanged knowing looks between each other. Seungmin bites down on his lips as he takes his phone out, he types something down before looking at her one more time. “This isn’t the place to be talking about this.” Seungmin grabs Haein by her wrist and only gives Minho a small nod, a car suddenly pulls up in front of them.

“Get in the car,” Seungmin almost shoves her into the vehicle as Minho climbs the passenger seat. 

“Where are you--”

“Shut up.” Seungmin jumps in the car as well. She scans over the two boys who just got in only for her to notice a face she’s never seen before driving the car. If her assumptions were right, from everything that’s been unfolding in front of her, this guy would most likely have ties with the mafia. Rather, he used to have ties to the mafia, or she would’ve at least known about him.

“Min, you owe me big time.” He tells of the boy that was sitting beside her. 

“This has been the second favor I’ve asked you since four years ago.” Seungmin crosses his arms over his chest as he crosses his legs.

She didn’t want to stereotype, but now that she knows of who this man was she was beginning to see signs of a mafia upbringing from him. The small actions, just as right now, the way he sits, he was probably used to sitting in huge cars that had huge leg rooms. However, now wasn’t the time to stare at the man she thought was dead for years and loathe with her whole body, she needed to take into where she was headed. Though the scenery was pretty much city like, they were definitely on the other side of where High Street mafia looked over. High street derives its name from the neighborhoods it was under, they specialized in underground activities with the rich, doing their dirty works for them. The disparity of where her mafia was from where they were currently was huge, buildings though they exist weren’t that high rise. The darker vibe around the area and probably the darker lighting in this part of the city was an ever bigger reminder that she was going further from safety. 

“Where are you taking me?” Haein finally blurts out. 

“Didn’t that god damned mafia teach you anything?” The guy that was driving glares at her from the mirror. 

“Observe before you complain, then plan your escape route from there.” Seungmin mutters under his breath. “Why the hell are you an executive?” 

“She was voted into position by Han,” Minho informs the two. 

“Han?” The guy driving stops the car making all them jump off their seats. 

“Chan, what the hell?” Seungmin kicks the driver's seat. 

“He really lacks a sense of people that brings him trouble, doesn’t he?” Chan shakes his head as he begins driving again, that went with some other drivers honking at him and even giving him bad looks. All he did was flip them off. 

“You guys know Han? I didn’t know Minho knew Han?” Haein interrupts their conversation. Chan glances her way, he opens his mouth but decides to put his attention back on the road. While Seungmin has his head completely looking away from Haein, while MInho remained quiet. 

The whole car suddenly goes silent. 

“Did old man Wooyoung take over my position when I left?” Seungmin asked all of a sudden.

“The first?” Haein mutters under her breath this time making sure she wasn’t heard by anyone near her.

Minho’s head suddenly peaks towards Haein. “Seungmin was the 1st executive of the 12 at sixteen. I’m sure you’ve heard of the rumors about it. At that time Han wasn’t even considered anywhere near Seungmin’s prowess as both a mafia member and leader.”

“Then why is he considered as the one who took over his,” she points towards Seungmin, “position if he’s only the 7th executive?” 

Minho sits back properly. Again, the car goes quiet. Haein tried to look at the three of them individually waiting for an answer. “It’s because I trained and elected him.” 

Now, the inside of the car felt colder, as if it was winter even though they were in the middle of summer. She couldn’t quite understand their relationship with Han, earlier Minho was defending him, but right now they were avoiding his name as if it were a plague. She really was charting into unknown territory, just as everything about the mafia is. 

The car stops right in front of a building that didn’t rise up too high, but there were enough floors for it to be considered a building. Seungmin then grabs onto her wrist and pulls her out of the car, though he was pulling her he didn’t exactly hurt her. Contrary to what she said earlier, this was not something someone from the mafia would do. 

She watched as he closed the door, surprised that the two didn’t get on. 

“Wait, they aren’t coming with us?” Haein looked at Seungmin confused as she looked at him in the face while the car drove off.

“Two former mafia members and one current one with an executive from High Street, doesn’t that attract too much attention?” Seungmin guides her towards the building with his hands still around her wrist. 

“Then where are you taking me?” 

The small building didn’t exactly have an elevator. Instead they quietly climbed the stairs without his hands and her wrist separating. He stops walking right in front of the door that stood at the highest floor. He presses his code and then, for the first time he drags her in with force. It was nothing compared to getting shoved into a car, or getting pulled by the wrist. The door closes and for the first time since meeting him she felt like her life was in danger.

“You know too much.” The door shuts the last thing she sees was his shadow before everything gets swallowed by the darkness.

  
  



	5. Life is Exhausting

**Chapter 5: Life is exhausting**

  
  


The door shut and then she was consumed by pure darkness. She hears her heart beating in her ears. She pushes away from the door thinking if it was in any degree safe to shout and be exposed to the police. She wasn’t thinking straight, she pushed herself away from the door more before getting up on her feet and closing her eyes trying to listen to his movements, but knowing how he was trained it would almost be impossible to catch him, that was if what they said about him being better than Han true.

She hears a click before light shines on her eyelids. She slowly opens her eyes to see Seungmin judging her fighting stance. “Did you think I was going to…” He really didn’t hide it when he judged her.

“You aren’t going to kill me?” 

Seungmin sighs as he puts his bag on the corner by the door. He walks towards the kitchen and pulls a bottle of water out of the fridge and throws it at her. She stumbled upon catching it and it fell towards the ground. She stands up to be greeted by a small apartment with almost nothing in it.

“I don’t think you understand why I take this much effort to detach myself from the mafia, yet I’ll be killing you?” Seungmin sits on the comforter on the floor, which appears to be his bed. 

“So, you aren’t going to kill me?” 

“I won’t.” He puts the bottle of water down beside his comforter before lying down.

“Does that mean I can leave?” Haein scans the room and eventually sits down by the comforter’s end. 

“That I can’t do.” He sighs. “Just stay put for a few weeks here, then I’ll let you off.” 

“Do you really think I would comply that easily?” Haein crossed her arms over her chest as she raised an eyebrow at the boy who was a bit too exhausted to even open his eyes. She then noticed a few things about this boy, there exists a huge cut on his arms and scars here and there it could easily pass by unnoticed, but she did take notice of them. 

He sighs once again, “I know you're exhausted with High Street,” he peaks his eyes and looks at her, though she couldn’t exactly see him. Thus, she lets her guard down for a few seconds and slouches her back and closes her eyes as well. “Take it as a vacation leave, except you can’t really leave the house since we’re in a territory that puts you in danger.” 

Haein couldn’t believe what she was hearing, anyone would know that he was taking her in as a hostage. She wasn’t a guest or someone on vacation, she was basically being arrested inside his home. “Do you really think that you could convince me like that?” 

Seungmin finally sits up properly and clasps his hands together, his head goes down and then he glares at her. Once again, she feels her spine go freezing cold at his gaze. As if he was a giant that gazed down onto her like she was an ant. She felt extremely small under his gaze. Then she smells it - his bloodlust.

"It's not whether or not I could convince you," he straightens his back, "it's a mere matter of making you stay here." He stretched his neck to the side. His neck veins show a little and she swore that was all it took before she felt like she could pee her pants right now.

Haein gulps down. He definitely did not look like how he was described back in the mafia, but there was no mistaking that her judgement was indeed false about him. His hands that appear to have no stain at all suddenly felt like it was constantly dyed red. That he wouldn’t hesitate to dye his hands that same colour with her blood.

“I -I’m not scared of you!” Her voice betrays her as she tries to reason out with him. 

Seungmin only raises his eyebrow at her. 

“I mean do you expect me to share this apartment with a guy I barely know?”

Seungmin sighs and rolls his eyes. “Do you really think we’ll even see each other?” Seungmin stands up from his bed, well his mattress to grab his bag. “The first time we met was in a convenience store I was working for part time, then we met again on my way to university, and then we met at the cafe I’m working in.” Seungmin puts his shoes on.

“You’re leaving your hostage alone?” 

“You're not exactly hostage, Haein.” He grabs his keys that sat by the entrance of his apartment. “You're a guest who's using my apartment as a way to get away from High Street, but if you even try to leave.” Seungmin turns around. “Well even if you tried, I’ll stop you even before you step a foot out of this building.” He opens the door before closing it, then she hears a lock on the outer side of the door. 

_ She really was a hostage.  _

════════════

She slips into the mattress that sat on the floor, but she oddly couldn’t seem to sleep. Staring at the ceiling felt like it did before she entered the mafia. As if she was back in the orphanage that she probably still memorizes a bit too perfectly. If she was entirely honest, she wasn’t fond of her memories in the orphanage, nor was she exactly happy where she was. Since the day she realized that she had to be part of this grown up world she’s felt absolutely exhausted with her life.

She shifts her body to face the wall that was right beside the mattress. She begins tracing circles unto the wall, something she did in the orphanage to get herself to fall asleep. Even if it was cold or hot, this trick never seems to fail her. She watched as her hands moved in continuous calm circles. Then she feels her eyelids begin to close and her hands begin to feel a bit limp from the continuous circles. She doesn’t even realize that she stopped making circles.

Then it was quiet, not peaceful, just quiet. She didn’t dream, or maybe she doesn’t remember what she dreamed of, but to her it was just pure darkness. That was until she heard the lock on the outer side of the door open and the pin of the room being unlocked. Immediately she turns her body to face the shadow that enters the house. His footsteps are heavy and his body barely keeps himself upright. The door to the front closes and then eventually the apartment goes dim once again. It takes a while for her eyes to adjust, but once it did the exhausted boy was already ready to slip into the same mattress as she was on.

Both a bit too groggy to realize what was happening, she lets him slide in. She feels the dip of the bed and the lifting of the comforter with the dawn sky beginning to peak into the room. 

Then it was calm.

Their backs were against each other, though they weren’t touching she could feel his warmth. She didn’t want to sleep with him beside him, but she was a bit too exhausted to even bother. She shuts her eyes once again, but then she feels the bed vibrate by their head, she turns her head and she’s immediately greeted by the sunrise which was almost nothing when she closed her eyes, but now it shone over the small room. The man beside her already picked up what seems to be a phone alarm and stands up off the mattress.

“You’re leaving already?” Her curiosity couldn’t stop her from asking.

Seungmin turns his head around. “I have classes,” his eyes still half open and his body looked like a piece of paper waiting for wind to blow through him so that he would fall back into the mattress.  _ Has he been exerting this much effort since he left High Street?  _

He walks straight into the bathroom with a carry of his change of clothes with him. The door closed and all Haein could do was stare at the closed door. She was suddenly wide awake at the crack of dawn. All she could do was stare, she wasn’t exactly the kind that helped other people even back in the orphanage, it was nothing for her to turn her cheek, but something just bothered her about this guy. Anyone in their right mind would have never left the - most likely - luxurious life he lived in the mafia. He was the heir to such a huge group, a man gifted in the ways of the mafia, probably spoiled by everyone. In the mafia this boy doesn’t even need to raise his finger nor get his hands dirty. 

She sighs.

Seungmin walks out of the bathroom his hair wet as he holds a towel against it and rubs it dry. He sits at the foot of the mattress and pulls out the hair dryer to proceed to make sure he dries his hair before walking out of this apartment.

“Why did you leave High Street,” Haein asked, her eyes still on him as he gets ready for class. 

Seungmin suddenly switches the dryer off and turns to look at her. He takes a deep sigh in, it was a bit too early to argue or even think of a sarcastic remark to give this girl. “You want the real answer?” He turns on the hair dryer once again and begins drying his hair. 

“Anyone in their right mind wouldn’t leave such a luxurious life behind.”

“Anyone in their right mind wouldn’t resent being part of the 12 executives, one of the highest governing bodies in a mafia as big as High Street, but yet here we are.” Seungmin doesn’t even bother to show his eyes being rolled to the person she was talking to. 

Haein drops her head back down into the pillow. “Life is exhausting in the mafia.” 

“There’s your answer,” Seungmin turns the blow drier off before making sure to put it back in its proper place. “You're only staying here for awhile since Minho needs some time to remove any evidence of our encounter, we aren’t roommates. Limit your questions.” He stands up from the floor before taking his stuff and leaving the apartment. 

She stares at the ceiling, her mind not exactly taking things in very well. But one thing did stick to her, admitting that she was way too exhausted for the mafia.


	6. Work No One Talked About

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !! Mentions of violence, blood, and murder !!

**Chapter 6: Work No One Talked About**

  
  


She’s been walking back and forth through this apartment. Her feet beneath her have probably gained a dark color from the floor that hasn’t exactly been cleaned, she couldn’t believe that she slept right on this dirty floor. Though she slept in places much worse, she just can’t seem to wrap her head around the contrasting image of the, probably, luxurious life he lived in the mafia. Seungmin was basically a hero, a topic that just made her barf every time someone spoke his name, but he was like their god.

She sits back down on the bed after walking back and forth, since she woke up after Seungmin left, this is all that she’s been doing. Though he did have a small run down television in his room, there was nothing entertaining on it that seemed to let her sit down and enjoy the day. If there was anything to it, it only made her loathe the fact that she was alone in the apartment, that was until she heard the lock begin to unlock.

The door opens and she expects Seungmin to walk in, but instead Minho walks into the apartment with a huge bag on his back and a few shopping bags in his hands. "I'm surprised you're sitting here patiently." He puts the bag down in front of her and the shopping bags as well. 

"Well,” she glares at the elder calm boy, “might as well make the most of me being imprisoned with no chances of the mafia finding me.” 

“So, you decided not to fight him off?” 

Haein sighs. “I’ve realized a few things,” she admits as she leans back a bit.

Minho snickers at the thought of this girl sitting down and reflecting. “So, what’s this metanoia of yours?” 

“Metanoia?” 

“Change of heart.”

“There was no change of heart, just a realization that I’ve long put aside.” Haein puts her hand up in the air as if she was about to hit Minho. The boy doesn’t even flinch, all he does is smile at her.

For a few seconds the apartment was quiet as Haein puts her hand down and begins looking at the same ceiling she’s been looking at for the past few hours. “That guy, you know Seungmin,” he states as if it weren’t already implied who they were talking about, “makes you realize things that you never sit down and think about.”

“You’ve had one too?” 

Minho only snickers. “Being an ally of his makes you think constantly.” 

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” 

“Depends on what you make of it,” Minho sighs as well.

Once again silence filled up both their environments. The walls in his apartment were bare and just as it was obvious, it looked like it was never actually lived in, rather it was like a place where he rented just for the sake of a permanent address. 

“Why did Seungmin leave the mafia?” She turns to look at Minho waiting for a reaction, a slight change in his expression or at least an answer from his actions, but instead what she gets was absolute silence. 

“Why do you hate being part of the 12 executive?” The exact same answer she got out of Seungmin.

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Minho.” Haein didn’t want to raise her voice, but here she was. All she wanted was an answer. Why did someone as well loved and respected leave a life of luxury that was waiting for him? He was the son of the head of High Street, he was an outstanding hero for the mafia and the youngest member of the executives. In her head it doesn’t make any sense. “That’s exactly what he told me!” 

Minho doesn’t even flinch at her desperation to answer. Instead he closes his eyes momentarily and then looks at her. “Tell me, Haein, how many people have you killed with your hands?” 

Haein blinks her eyes a few times rapidly, she turns away from Minho as she begins counting in her head. “Since I’ve entered the mafia, at least 50 people.” 

“At least 50?” Minho nods his head slowly. “Now if you multiply that by 30,” he turns to look at her waiting for an answer.

“1,500,” just saying the number sends shivers down her spine.

“That’s the amount of people he killed in his time in the mafia.” 

Haein gulps down the saliva in her mouth. She’s killed 50 people in the business, yet her mind still couldn’t wrap around the first person she killed. It was a woman, from one operation that was assigned to her, she was never told to kill her, all she had to do was spy on that lady. She was young, in her early 30’s but she was much stronger than she was, she got caught in that mission and in a moment where she had to choose between her life and death, she chose to live no matter what. 

She remembers her weapon, a steel pipe that was lying around the area where she was caught. The woman, much older than she was, came prepared with a gun. She takes a bullet to her left arm, but she manages to hit her with the pipe knocking her cold. That should’ve been enough since it was nothing more than a small business that was assigned to her a few weeks after she entered. She should’ve kept her alive, but the rule was to kill once she found her suspicious and with her cover blown there was no other option. 

“Seungmin killed 50 people by the age of 10,” Minho looks away. “When I first met Seungmin his hands were tainted red and though I was a few years older than he was my stomach turned in fear of him.”

“How old was he when you first met him?” 

“He was 12, a child.”

Haein couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Though she’s heard of it, those who grew up within the mafia were given a different kind of training, one that made sure that you were a professional killer the moment you could speak. Since it was easier to deceive people when you're a child and they made sure to capitalize on that. 

“I heard that at that time compared to his peers, his success rate of killing a target was 100% and that percentage doesn’t come cheap.” Minho gulps down. “People from all over the world searched for him, to be able to use him. That guy isn’t just a hero because he died a heroic death, he’s a hero because he gave High Street its reputation, its fame and its glory.”

“That’s why no one else is more fitting than him to become head.” Haein slowly nods her head.

Minho coughs. His eyes turn towards the stuff he brought over to the place. “Min told me to bring you a number of change of clothes and some stuff to keep you entertained.” He points towards the bags he put down completely changing the topic.

Haein glances over the items and lets her hand slide through them to give it a look. Before turning to look at the hands of the man that sat in front of her. There was no mistaking that between the two of them in this room his hands were much more red than hers was. “How old were you when you joined?” 

“I also took some liberty to make you an email address to log into some accounts to keep you busy, but of course they’re all under my surveillance,” Minho doesn’t even bother to acknowledge her questions, “don’t even try to think of ways to contact Han.”

Haein scowls at Minho. “Do you think I would even bother contacting that man?” She turns the other way and chooses to gag away from his gaze.

“You hate him that much?” 

“I loathe him, just as I loathe the name Kim Seungmin.” 

Minho chuckles. “Why have you been asking all these questions about Seungmin, but don’t even bother to ask a little thing about Han?” 

Haein sighs and she faces Minho who chooses to sit by the end of the mattress on the exact same spot Seungmin sat on this morning when he was drying his hair. “The difference is, I’m told to be like this Seungmin and was always seen as Han’s underling. I don’t need to be anyone’s student, child, sidekick or whatever they call me.” Haein’s eyebrows completely knit together all she lacked was fume coming out of her nostrils. “Not to mention he nags me continuously when he himself is nowhere near what he asks me to be. Isn’t he a hypocrite?” 

Minho nods his head in amusement at the ranting girl. 

Haein sighs pushing all the air in her lungs out, if that was even possible. Her head then turns again to the items she had in front of her. She pulls the bag closer to her and checks what was inside. Indeed it was a laptop and a phone prepared for her. Her hand reaches for the phone but stops mid way. Her head slowly turns towards Minho. “I just remembered something,” she blinks her eyes a couple of times.

“What?”

“You're the head of the intel division, right?” 

“The youngest one,” Minho shrugs his shoulders with a little smirk on his mouth.

“So, that means you know of everyone that’s been in the mafia, right?” 

“That is my job.” Minho begins to nod his head slowly feeling a bit weird with both the tone in her voice and her weird actions. Her head was nodding slowly, a bit too slowly.

“Since I’m all locked up here can you do me a favor?” 

“I don’t do intel checks for free.” Minho sighs and almost scowls at the lady. 

“Well, I’ll pay!” 

Minho’s ears twitch at the beautiful word she just called out. He raises his eyebrows and immediately smiles. Though on the receiving end her eyebrows knit together at the sight of his business face. “There’s this person named Seo Changbin, he joined the mafia ages ago.”

Minho has always been well trained with hiding his expression, this was absolutely essential to him as someone who knew every little thing about the mafia. Though for a fraction of a second when he hears that name his heart drops to the pit of his stomach and very slightly his smile falters. He gulps down his saliva before forcing that smile back on his face. He blinks a couple of times before nodding his head.

“I’ll check the intel,” he stands up from the floor, “I mean I do know everyone’s information, I just don’t memorize it.” He turns his back around from her and heads straight for the door. “I’ll text you the answer.” He turned to look back at her and pointed towards the bag he left. He raises his eyebrows as his farewell before leaving the apartment and locking the door. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI!
> 
> I just want to put it out there that I know I'm bad at consistent updates, but hey I'm trying hehe  
> Anyway among the fics I write I enjoy this the most, this just flows out so easily when I write it, hope you enjoy it as well 😊


	7. Seo Changbin

**Chapter 7: Seo Changbin**

She was thankful for the electronics she got from Minho, honestly it was saving her from going insane in this apartment. Watching movies on an account she wasn’t sure if Minho owned or stole either way it was a great way to use her time even trapped in this disgusting apartment. Finally finishing her, probably, seventh movie, the door’s outside lock was undone and it echoes through the apartment. She lifts her head already expecting who it was when the door opens to see the always exhausted Seungmin walk into the apartment.

He lifts his heavy feet towards the bathroom and she hears the shower turn on. Thus, she returned to scrolling through the account and looking for another movie to fill up her time. Just as it started though, Seungmin walks out, and instead of drying his hair properly he lies down on the mattress. Lucky for Haein she was sitting by the small table that she folded out to put the laptop on. 

Then the apartment was absolutely quiet, as if she wasn’t with anyone. She turns to look at Seungmin to see exactly what she expected, he was fast asleep. If she understood that she was in danger sitting in this room with this man, killing him now would be the best option. However, she was oddly, the most relaxed she has been since she turned 16. 

“When do you plan to stick a knife through my chest?” The boy whose eyes were closed suddenly speaks up and startles Haein.

“How did you -”

He groans. “Years of training that seeps through my blood.” His sarcastic tone was evident though his eyes were closed she was sure he rolled her eyes.

“Well, rest.” She turns her body away from Seungmin, putting her attention back on the movie she was watching. “I don’t want to dirty my hands during my vacation.” 

“So, you’re finally admitting it?” 

“Admitting what?”

“That this whole thing is nothing but a vacation.” She doesn’t turn as she hears the ruffling of the sheats as he sounds like he was about to take a seat. What the girl doesn’t see was that Seungmin was looking over her shoulders and peeking into what she was watching. Though he usually took this time to catch up with sleep, something he extremely lacked, something was bothering me and he couldn’t exactly sleep.

“What are you watching?” He finally asks as she crawls to the corner of the table close to her. 

“Some random movie.” 

“A normal person would have just responded with the title of the show.” He leans his arm on the table and leans his head on it as well as he turns to look completely unamused with her.

“It’s the grinch.” 

“The grinch?” Seungmin doesn’t think he’s heard of the movie and the confusion in his face catches Haein completely off-guard.

“You,” she pauses the movie and turns towards him, “don’t know the grinch?” 

“Are we all supposed to know everything?” 

“Come on, we used to watch the grinch every Christmas as the sisters would remind us of the importance of the spirit of Christmas and what it was truly about.” For a second Seungmin saw something so rarely seen inside the mafia, as she spoke there was a glint of innocence around her. It was almost as if she was a young child so untainted by the world, yet he knew that wasn’t the case. “The kids in the orphanage all knew it was Christmas time when the sisters would play these kinds of movies for us to watch. Though we watched the older version, I was just curious about this animated one.”

Seungmin watched as she turned her head to look back into the screen and let the movie play once again. 

“Do you have any plans of letting me watch?” 

“Oh,” she turns to him as if sudden realization comes into her and immediately that spark of innocence is gone, “right.” Her voice this time was low, she really let her guard down just because she was treating this whole thing like a vacation wasn’t she?   
  
Then for a few minutes there was nothing but the sound of the movie playing that filled the apartment. Though Haein’s attention was completely off the movie. Her eyes would turn to Seungmin who looked like he was heavily invested with the film, and it was weird how she caught him smiling every once in a while. 

“I would prefer it if you watched the movie instead of me.” His eyes stuck on the screen with his tone teasing her a bit.

“I - I wasn’t -” she stops herself from talking further knowing well enough that she would only get teased even more.

“You weren’t what?” Now, he was taunting her. He sits straight and moves a bit closer to Haein. THough he was enjoying the clear annoyance she was experiencing, yet he’s never experienced this need to constantly tease someone else. Maybe it was that flash of innocence as if he was with a kid and all he could do was make jokes towards them to catch their attention.  _ Catch their attention?  _

Seungmin suddenly moves back and decides to walk towards the kitchen, though not exactly a good walk away from her. There was merely any space in the apartment, so there wasn’t exactly a huge distance between them. Right now, more than water, he needed space to cool himself down. He doesn’t need to take further notice of her, there exist no need to, yet here he was slowly beginning to notice all these smaller details about her.

“Are you alright?” She asked him. 

“I’m fine, it’s just -” He stops talking when he turns to face her and he immediately notices her eyes. 

“You look pale.” 

“It’s nothing.” He turns his head around facing the sink and puts the glass he used inside the sink as he let his hands grab unto the edge of the sink. He grips unto it to the point where he thought he could break it.

Then it goes silent between them, again the sound of the movie echoes in the apartment. He turns around to see her completely focused on the movie. Until her phone, which he only realized she had a new one, began to buzz. She turns to look at Seungmin cautiously before checking the messages and all he did was watch how her reaction turned sour. 

“It can’t be.” She mutters a bit too loud making Seungmin hear her.

“What can’t be?” 

Her eyes grow wide as her head snaps up towards Seungmin. “Nothing.” She firmly responds as she aggressively pressed the button of the laptop to play the movie. 

“It’s obviously not nothing.” He tilts his head as he raises an eyebrow at her. Though he didn’t intend it to appear as if he was intimidating her, he couldn’t help it. He leans against his counters and crosses his arms over his chests, his eyes looked down on her and he watched as she squirms in fear of him.

“I asked Minho to look someone up,” she finally admits as she changed into sitting on her legs and ankles with both her hands placed into balls at the top of her thigh. She doesn’t dare look at him in the eye.

“And who might this person be?” 

“It’s no one, apparently he has never been in the mafia.” 

“Sometimes data lies,” Seungmin stands on his feet and then kneels down in front of her. “Give me the name, I might know this person.”

She goes silent. 

“Seo Changbin.” She whispers the name and she looks at him, just as she did with MInho, she was expecting a reaction out of his name. Only to be met with nothing. His eyes, just as it did the first time she saw him looked dead, there was no change at all. However, it does take a while for him to nod his head slowly. “You’ve heard of his name?” 

“It does sound familiar.”

“So, he didn’t lie to me when he said he was involved in the mafia?” Her tone was suddenly hopeful.

“You joined the mafia to search for this guy?” 

Haein tries to think of an answer. She tries to find another reason why she did join the mafia, even if it was a mere moment of lying to her. However, her thoughts came in a little bit too late.

“You purposely ruined your life to join…” he said each word so slowly making sure that what he thought was right, “...the mafia?” Even as he said it, it still felt absolutely unbelievable. Why would someone ruin their lives to join the mafia willingly? If it was him, if he had the choice he would have never even turned his head towards this direction, even under extreme curiosity. Yet this person sitting in front of him deliberately gave up her life in search for…  _ Changbin. _

“Did you say something?” 

Seungmin immediately shakes his head. She’s here to search for Changbin, just the thought of it made his head hurt. Fate really loved playing tricks with him.


	8. Your Hands are Just as Stained as Mine

**Chapter 8: Your Hands are Just as Stained as Mine**

Seungmin sits there behind the counter holding paperworks he couldn’t seem to focus on. Maybe the machines in the convenience store were a little bit too loud tonight or his head might be the one that’s a little too loud tonight. His hands couldn’t even lift his ballpen, how could his mind wrap around the fact that Haein was looking for Changbin of all the people she was looking for Changbin.

The convenience store opens and he greets the person with a smile until he realizes who it was. 

“Was there a need to lie to her?” Seungmin asked the boy who put down a piece of boxed coffee to the counter. He couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the elder boy. 

“If I didn't, wouldn't we be digging our own grave?” Minho pulls out his phone to scan and make his payment.

“I thought I heard a familiar voice out here.” Chan walks out from the back room. He leaned against the door frame as he watched over the two of them. “Who lied to who?” Of course the conversation piqued his interest. 

Seungmin and MInho exchange looks with each other. There was indeed no need to involve him, but if we were talking about  _ him _ wouldn’t it be appropriate for him to know about it. Even if it meant looking into some things they all chose to leave behind. 

“So, no one’s going to answer my question?” He looks at the boy behind the counter and the one that stood on the other side. Both didn’t want to meet his gaze.

“Minho lied to Haein,” was Seungmin’s quick response.

“Oh come on, there’s more to it than that if you both looked like you killed the president.” 

“I lied to her about Seo Changbin.” At the mere mention of his name the three of them go quiet. 

It was a taboo topic to be talked about, since they fear that by calling out his name similar incidents may happen again. Though the name isn’t just taboo in fear of jinxing it, it was also taboo because it was Seo Changbin. It was taboo because they were once hailed as an 8 member elite force in mafia.

“Wasn’t he an orphan, why is someone suddenly searching for him?” Chan though he seemed calm both Minho and Seungmin knew he was far from it. He stands there leaning against the door of the back, his hands in his pockets yet his hands were obviously bawled into a fist inside his pockets.

“And so was Haein.” 

“They knew each other in the orphanage?” Chan finally turns to look at the two younger boys and it was easy to notice the uneasiness in him.

“She joined the mafia in search of him.” Seungmin puts both his hands on the counter. 

Minho raises his head and he finally lets emotion flow through his facial expression. On the other hand Chan faced him and felt like what was left of his heart was on the floor and he accidentally stepped on it. Now, they were facing each other as if they were once young kids again. The silence they shared was almost bone chilling. Seungmin gulps down on the lump in his throat as he tries his best to search for answers on the elders’ facial features.

“You really can’t escape from secrets,” Minho bitterly laughs. He lifts his head to give Seungmin a dirty look. “Especially you.” 

Seungmin scowls at Minho not sure whether what he meant by his words were a joke or a warning. 

“So, what do we do now? Are we going to pretend that nothing ever happened?” Chan finally drops the question that both Seungmin and Minho flinched at.

Minho bitterly laughs and leans against the counter of the convenience store. “Can we really pretend as if nothing happened?” 

Chan turned to look at Seungmin and immediately he felt the pressure. 

They say nothing is more traumatizing than the first time you kill a person, that the life we cling so tightly onto was such an easy thing to take away. Yet Seungmin has never experienced that question, he never thought of how fragile life was or how he desperately wanted to cling onto it. He was raised as a killing machine, the sight of blood or death was nothing to him. Yet here he was today unable to leave some person alone at the sight of heavy wounds on them. 

“Isn’t that what I had planned to begin with?” Seungmin sits back down on the chair behind the counter, his legs suddenly feeling weak. 

Minho could only shake his head. “Well not everyone could live as if nothing happened.”

“Then what was the use of all the training you did?” Seungmin opens his notes.

Minho couldn’t believe what he just heard come out of Seungmin’s mouth. He was wrong to assume that he had changed, or has grown to be more human. His breathing turned uneven as he turned around and saw how completely unbothered Seungmin was.

“Here I thought you were nothing like your father,” Minho brings up another taboo topic. He knew it would trigger Seungmin. “You and him could kill your own brother and not bat an eyelash.”

Seungmin slams his hands on the counter and stands straight up again. He grabs the elder’s colar and drags it closer to his face. Both their breathing were uneven as Seungmin’s hands shook in complete anger at what Minho just told him. “I would like to remind you,” he speaks through gritted teeth, “I wasn’t the only one who killed him.” Seungmin pushes Minho away. “Your hands are just as stained as mine.” 

“That’s enough!” Chan’s domineering voice reminds them that they were in public, much importantly they were in his convenience store.

Seungmin takes a step away from the counter and leans against the display of tobacco and condoms, while Minho looks at Chan. As both their eyebrows were knit together and breathing unevenly due to the intensity of their emotions all Chan could see were two young boys clouded by their past and to say that he doesn’t look exactly like them would be a lie. 

“What would you do if she finds out?” Minho’s tone had that exact same chilling tone Seungmin used with Haein when they were in the cafe. “Would you kill her?” 

Seungmin could only blink his eyes a couple of times as he tried to search for an answer. 

“For the sake of keeping this life?” Minho adds on even more.

“Then tell me, what should I do? Resurrect him from the dead?” Seungmin tone now meets the anger and aggression in Minho’s. “Admitting to it won’t do anything.”

“Then assume your position!”

Seungmin glared at Minho as he shouted his answer at him. He knew more than anyone that he never wanted to be like his father, He didn’t want to lead the mafia or live life as dirty as he did. Yet he knew that he could never assume to be a normal person, not everyone had a list of people they’ve killed, especially not one with the name of a friend he treated like a brother. 

“Since we did kill him for that.” That was the last thing Minho tells Seungmin through his gritted teeth before storming out of the convenience store. 

  
  



End file.
